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Do You Really Need a Theme When Writing Your Family History ?
- Devon Noel Lee
- Jun 26
- 3 min read
Have you been told that your life story needs a universal theme to be meaningful? That you should chase some big idea—like resilience, redemption, or transformation—before you even start writing?
Let’s pause right there.
This might surprise you, but you don’t need a theme at all.
Not yet. Maybe not ever. Let’s talk about why—and what you can do instead.
The Myth of the “Meaningful” Family History
You’ve probably heard advice like this:
“If you write toward a universal theme, your story will matter to more people.”
There’s a grain of truth in that. But it’s not the whole picture.
Here’s the problem: when we force a theme before we write, we risk warping the story just to fit the message. It’s like trying to squeeze into jeans two sizes too small—you can make it work, but nobody’s comfortable.
The truth is, meaning is often found after the story is told—not before.
A Story Means What Readers Think It Means
Let’s take a weird example: the Star Wars prequels.
What’s the theme of Episodes I through III?
Is it about mentorship gone wrong?
A tragic love story?
The fall of democracy?
A cautionary tale about fear and power?
Yes. All of it. Depending on who’s watching.
What a story means depends more on the reader than the writer. When you try to force-feed a moral or message, you might miss the very real impact your story would’ve had naturally.
What are the Themes in Personal History Scrapbooks?
When I look back at my old high school scrapbooks, I don’t see any grand theme.
I wasn’t trying to write about identity or growth or friendship. I was just recording what happened—what I wore, who I liked, where I went. And yet… when I flip through those pages now, I do see those things. They just emerged over time.
That’s the point.
Your job isn’t to cram a message into your life story. Your job is to tell the truth—messy, beautiful, awkward, boring truth. And let people find their own meaning in it.
Fill Your Shelf With Family History Books Before You Declare a Theme
If you’re still in the middle of your story (and let’s be real, most of us are), you probably aren’t ready to sum it all up with a theme.
That’s okay.
Write the family and personal history stories anyway. Stack them up like books on a shelf. Later, when you’ve got enough written down, then you can look back and see if a theme has naturally formed.
But don’t let “figuring out the theme” stop you from starting. That’s like waiting to know the ending before you begin chapter one.
One Tiny Family History Writing Tip That Changes Everything
So here’s your Tiny Tip Takeaway:
Stop trying to “write meaning” into your life story. Just write the story. The meaning will take care of itself.
And if you’ve ever looked back at an old memory and only then realized what it meant—drop it in the comments. I’d love to hear about it.
Until next time, keep writing real.
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