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The Family History Writer's Guide to Giving and Receiving Feedback
- Devon Noel Lee
- 2 hours ago
- 4 min read
If you've ever shared a family history chapter and received feedback like "This was nice" or "I loved it," you know how frustrating vague feedback can be.
Likewise, if you've ever reviewed someone else's writing, you may have wondered:
What should I say?
How do I point out problems without sounding harsh?
How do I help the writer improve without rewriting the story for them?
This guide accompanies my video, The Feedback Problem in Family History Writing (and How to Fix It), and provides practical tools you can use whether you're requesting feedback, receiving feedback, or reviewing someone else's work.
Why Feedback Matters to Family History Writers
When you're writing a family history, you're too close to the story.
You know:
who everyone is
how they're related
the timeline of events
why certain details matter
Your reader doesn't.
A second set of eyes helps identify:
confusing timelines
missing explanations
unclear relationships
weak transitions
assumptions that aren't obvious to others
The goal of feedback isn't compliments - it is clarity.
Questions to Ask When Giving Feedback
Let's avoid receiving unhelpful feedback that won't help us become better family history writers. Instead, let's ask give someone volunteering to read our written drafts a list of specific questions.
Did the story make sense?
Was anything confusing or unclear?
Did the timeline hold together?
Did you ever lose track of who was who?
Were any sections too long or repetitive?
Was there anything you wanted more of?
Was anything over-explained?
Were there sections that felt too long?
Did anything feel repetitive?
What questions did you still have when you finished?
Did anything feel misleading or incomplete?
These questions tell your reader exactly how to help you, without overwhelming them.
These questions say, “I know you’re not a trained editor, but I trust you know when something is confusing or wandering off into Tangent Land.”
Questions to Use When Giving Feedback
When you're invited to give feedback to a fellow family history writer, you want to encourage without blowing sunshine where it shouldn't be.
One of the easiest ways to offer feedback that doesn't put a writer on the defensive or crush their spirit is to replace critical statements with questions.
Instead of saying:
"This is confusing."
Try:
"I got lost here. Can you help me understand what happened first?"
Here are the kinds of questions that actually improve writing.
Timeline Questions
“Did this happen before or after the move?”
“I’m not sure how these events connect—can you clarify the order?”
Identity Questions
“Are these two people the same person with a name variation?”
“Did this person go by another name earlier?”
"What makes this person different from another with the same name?"
Pronoun Questions
"Who does "he" refer to in this paragraph?"
"I lost track of who was speaking here. Can you clarify?"
Missing Context Questions
“What is the backstory behind what’s happening in these scenes? ”
“Can you explain the context for this religious practice or custom?”
"Why was this significant at the time?"
Missing Explanation Questions
“What does this term mean?”
"Can you compare this to something that a modern reader would understand?"
“Why is Sarah doing this job when others are available to her?”
Relevance Questions
“Why are you mentioning when Elvis was on the Ed Sullivan show when your ancestor preferred opera?”
“How does this information move the story forward? Could it serve as a sidebar or footnote?”
Emotional Engagement Questions
“What would your ancestor feel about what happened to their brother?”
“What might your ancestor feel as they travel 1,000 miles away from home?”
"What was at stake for them?"
"How might this event have changed their life?"
Evidence Questions
"What source supports this statement?"
"Is there documentation for this relationship?"
"How did you reach this conclusion?"
“Why are you not mentioning this couple’s wedding date?”
Expansion Questions
"This was fascinating. Can you tell me more?
"This part of the story is fascinating. Can you include more details about what’s going on?"
How to Receive Feedback Without Taking It Personally
Receiving feedback on your writing can be deeply uncomfortable, especially when someone points out a mistake, a weak argument, or a confusing passage. Instead of reacting defensively, pause to ask yourself what the person is actually trying to communicate.
Often, comments that feel like personal criticism are simply requests for clarification, additional evidence, or better context to help your story land more effectively.
Remember that feedback is strictly about the writing, not your worth as an author.
Treat critiques as insights into how your reader understands your stories. Now, how can you decide what will help you transform a rough draft into a clear and meaningful piece of history?
How to Decide Which Feedback to Use
You do not have to accept every suggestion; instead, weigh feedback against your own vision for the story.
Look for patterns: If multiple readers point out the same issue, it is a strong signal that you should address it.
Separate clarity from preference: Prioritize feedback that clarifies confusion, while treating stylistic suggestions as optional choices.
Keep your voice: Feedback should serve to polish and refine your work, not replace your unique perspective with someone else's.
Remember who you're writing for, and if suggestions help you write a family history that's informative and not boring, you're on the right path.
The best family history writers learn two skills:
They learn how to receive feedback.
And they learn how to give feedback that helps other writers improve.
So let's commit to giving and receiving feedback so we can write family histories we enjoy sharing, and our relatives enjoy reading.
More About the Write With Me Series
Instead of vague advice, I walk you through the actual process of turning genealogy research into clear, engaging family stories using real examples from my own project on William James Townsend.
This isn't about perfection.
It's about making progress, one chapter at a time.
To read previous installments of William's story:
Chapter 1: Foggy Beginning
Boxed Text Examples from Chapters 1–4 [Current Post]
To watch videos in the Write With Me Series, check out this YouTube playlist:
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