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Why Aren't Family Histories Being Preserved? A Genealogist's Perspective
- Devon Noel Lee
- Jul 7
- 4 min read
Comedian Jeff Foxworthy once quipped, “I wish I could relate to the people I’m related to.” When I stumbled upon this quote, it stopped me in my tracks.
As a family historian, I couldn’t help but think, “You’re not relating to the people you’re related to because no one has taken the time to tell their story.” And isn’t that a shame?
Every family has its self-appointed historian: the archivist who saves the photos, the storyteller who keeps traditions alive, or the one like my aunt, who remembers everyone’s birthdays, anniversaries, and milestones. Yet even the best genealogists often miss the mark when it comes to preserving stories. We gather names and dates, build impressive family trees, and bust brick walls—but what about the narratives that breathe life into those branches?
The Consequences of Not Preserving Family Histories
I don’t have to imagine what it’s like to lose family stories. In 2012, I buried my last grandparent and parent. By my thirties, the chance to ask questions or hear firsthand accounts was gone. Sure, I could turn to genealogical records, but they couldn’t tell me the stories I longed to know.
And oh, how I kick myself for not asking my mom or grandmother more while I had the chance.
After they passed, I focused on expanding the family tree, meticulously citing sources and adding branches. But it wasn’t enough. The connection felt... incomplete. So I started writing. I wanted to leave a legacy for my children—something more than a dry pedigree chart.
In doing so, I noticed something curious in the genealogy community. The excitement was all about research—digging up records, interpreting DNA results, and solving mysteries. But little attention was given to writing the stories of the people we discovered.
That got me wondering: why do so many genealogists climb trees but never pause to capture the view? Why is preserving family histories so challenging and overlooked?
Why Genealogists Climb Trees Instead of Tell Stories
When I ask people why they don’t preserve family stories, the answers are honest and relatable.
"I don’t like to write."
I get it. Writing isn’t everyone’s favorite pastime. But here’s the thing: just because you don’t like to write doesn’t mean you shouldn’t. I dislike writing source citations, but I do it because it’s essential. Writing family stories is no different.
Mental Blocks and Perceived Limitations
Many researchers tell me, “I’m not a writer.” They think writing requires a special skill set or a creative flair they just don’t have. I often reply with a quote from John Delony: “People speak in words and think in pictures.”
What do you picture when you think of a family history writer? For me, it’s someone who takes names, dates, and places and transforms them into paragraphs. They add context—both familial and historical—to bring ancestors to life. If you can expand beyond a pedigree chart or software-generated narrative, congratulations: you’re a writer!
Some folks confess, “I don’t know how to start,” or ask, “Are there any guides for writing family stories?” The good news is, there are! And if you click the following image, you can find some writing guides and join our writing newsletter. Or, keep exploring the blog posts on this website.
Practical Family History Writing Challenges
Another hurdle is practical: the lack of easy access to stories.
“My family isn’t close.”
“There’s no one left to ask.”
“The stories I know might not even be true.”
Believe me, I’ve been there. On my father’s side, I’m one of the eldest relatives. My aunts often ask me what I’ve uncovered, not the other way around! Yet I’ve still been able to piece together meaningful narratives using records and my own memories.
Sometimes, people worry about getting the facts right. “I don’t want to write something inaccurate.” But here’s the thing: writing often reveals errors in your research. It forces you to process what you’ve found and uncover gaps you didn’t notice before. Writing isn’t just a way to document your research—it’s a tool to refine it.
Facing Emotional Barriers
Finally, there are emotional barriers.
“My family has skeletons in the closet.”
“I’m adopted and don’t know my birth family.”
“No one in my family is interested.”
These are valid concerns, but they’re not insurmountable. Every family tree has its share of black sheep and complicated histories. Writing those stories honestly and neutrally can foster healing and understanding. And if your family isn’t interested? Write for the future. One day, a descendant will treasure the stories you’ve preserved.
For adoptees, writing about the family that raised you is a great place to start. Practice telling those stories while you continue uncovering your biological roots.
Transforming Research into Storytelling
If you’re ready to preserve your family stories, here’s how to start:
Start Small
Choose one relative—maybe someone with enough documentation to create a basic narrative. Don’t aim for perfection; just get the story down.
Overcome Research Paralysis
Stop researching and start writing! Treat writing as an ongoing process, not a final product. You can always revise as you learn more.
Share Your Stories
Share snippets on social media, blogs, or family newsletters. Feedback from relatives can help fill in gaps or correct errors. Plus, sharing might inspire others to contribute their stories.
Is It Time to Incorporate Writing Into Your Genealogy Research?
Genealogy isn’t just about building a tree; it’s about capturing the essence of the people in it. Don’t wait for “someday” to use writing to preserve family histories.
Start today, even if it’s messy or incomplete.
As Laurence Overmire said, “History remembers only the celebrated; genealogy remembers them all.”
Let’s make sure those memories endure.
Give Writing a Try:
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